Long Overdue
by Rebecca1
Summary: The team really want him to make it to three years . Sometimes , all it takes is to be there and help . After all , it's long overdue .


Rossi stood there silently, watching as Reid stared at the offending object with almost lust in his eyes but wariness on his face. He'd brought it into work this morning, demanded the team come into the conference room and proceeding to show them his 'problem' once they were all seated around the table. The first collective thought of the team, minus Rossi who wasn't quite sure what was going on, was that he'd bought it himself though realised that there wasn't any trigger that they knew of as to why he'd throw away three years of sobriety. Since the moment Spencer had taken the vile and syringe out of his bag he hadn't stopped staring at it, not even whilst he took a letter out of his bag and threw it on the table.

_Happy third anniversary, Spencer. Here's a little something to take the edge off, maybe even to celebrate._

The only words, typed out on the letter. The only thing handwritten was Spencer Reid's address in a black felt-tip pen with an unsteady hand.

"We need to take it off him Hotch." Morgan almost shouted after the team had called their youngest team member's name several times to no avail.

"We can't, he needs to do it himself Morgan. You can't force it out of his hands; it has to be done of his own free will." Hotch calmly reasoned without taking his eyes of his youngest agent. In fact, not one of them had taken their eyes off Reid for the ten minutes they'd been seated in the conference room other than to read the letter.

"But what if he does it, look at him." Garcia pointed out hysterically. It would be easy to tell just how emotionally vulnerable she was by the pure horror on her face and in her eyes.

"He won't, he's stronger than that. So much stronger." Aaron told them adamantly. "If anyone can do this he can." After a moment of silence, he moved slowly over to the man and bent down to eye level.

"Spencer, do you know who sent you this? Do you recognise the handwriting?" Knowing that he had to pull Reid out of his trance like state, the use of the younger man's first name seemed like the right way to go. For extra measure, the older man cautiously reached out and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know Hotch, I just, don't stop talking to me." Spencer said, his voice betraying his wavering strength. "Please." He pleaded, never taking his eyes off the vile that still called to him, even after three years.

"Never." Hotch moved his hand from the younger man's shoulder and instead threaded his hands through the younger man's, gripping onto his hand effectively shocking the other team members. It was something he'd learned to do as a father; whenever Jack had a nightmare or was upset about something it calmed him down, just knowing that Aaron was there for him. He'd hoped it would have the same effect on Reid.

"What're you doing Hotch?" Emily asked, utterly confused by his actions. When she didn't get a reply, she asked it more generally hoping that someone would answer.

"Grounding him." Rossi answered this being the first time he'd spoken since they'd entered the room, instead choosing to spectate. Upon the remaining team member's blank stares he sighed and continued; "Reid needs the connection to keep him here, so he knows he's not alone. Hopefully it'll get him to tear his eyes away from that," he pointed at the contents in the younger man's hand, "and we can then talk to him properly."

"Jack's doing well in school. He's above the class in reading; you know I read to him every night I'm home. We've just recently finished reading what he now claims is his favourite ever book, so we need to find a new one. Any suggestions?" Hotch asked Reid, doing exactly what the genius had asked him to do.

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It should be quite enjoyable for him." Hotch noticed that the genius had begun shaking his leg, something he'd come to know as a sign of his irritation or stress. "Can't do this Hotch, so hard."

"Yeah you can. Just look away from it." Aaron suggested, gripping the man's hand tighter in his own. "If anyone can do it, it's you. You've been sober for what, almost three years now right?" At a slight nod of the head, the father continued. "I really wanna see you get to that three years in a couple of months Spencer. We all do."

Finally after several minutes of silence, Reid's head slowly turned as he took a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he moved the Dilaudid and syringe towards his boss motioning for him to take it. Obliging, he snatched it up and almost threw it to JJ, who jumped at the sudden movement and just about caught it before the vile fell on the floor.

"Two years and nine months." Spencer stated. "Two years and nine months. Two years and nine months." He'd begun to repeat it almost like a mantra with his eyes closed as he gripped onto Hotch's hand so tight it'd begun to get increasingly painful for the Unit Chief. "You know, it was so hard to stop the first time but they say if you have to go through it again it's worse and so much harder to stop so a lot of people don't. After a while you need more just so it has the same effect as before which is why people overdose. I'm a genius but I make the most stupid decisions. But I stopped. Two years and nine months ago, been two years and nine months. That's good."

"Yeah, that's really good Spencer. We're all proud of you, really proud of you, d'you hear me?" Aaron told him once Reid had stopped talking in favour of breathing. "You've done so well."

"How can you be proud of me when I did that? I've never wanted something so much in my life; it's still there, a little voice in my head wanting me to do it. Stress or upset is the main factor in making people turn to drugs, especially those who have taken them before. Seeing it, even after being sober, is the ultimate temptation, knowing it's right there to use." Reid continued, not paying attention to what he was saying, instead just saying whatever came into his mind, needing a reprieve.

"You didn't though, you didn't take it." JJ joined in and the genius snapped his eyes open, for the first time realising it wasn't just him and Hotch in the room.

"Because I could feel Hotch right next to me, knowing he was there. I didn't want to disappoint him, any of you." He confessed, defeat evident in his eyes as he looked the blonde briefly in the eye before casting his gaze down at the hand that Hotch still hadn't let go of, something which Reid was beyond grateful for.

"You had the chance whilst you were at home; instead you came here and called us into the conference room. You showed us the vile and syringe and gave it away. That says more about you than you think." Aaron told him.

"Once a drug addict, always a drug addict." Reid mused, laughing humourlessly.

"No kid." Morgan stated a whole lot of conviction in his voice as he leaned on the table. Spencer's eyes flicked up to his, confusion etched on his face.

"What defines you is the fact that you stopped, you went through the withdrawal, went to NA meetings when you needed to and stayed sober for two years and nine months." Rossi told him sternly, in more admittedly a fatherly tone as he sat next to the kid. "You had the drug and instead of using it you came here and even though you were tempted you didn't take it. It doesn't matter why you didn't take it, Spencer. You didn't give in to that temptation and that's who you are, that's what defines you. It takes a hell of a'lota strength to be able to do that and to me that speaks volumes as to who you are."

"If I didn't have work today, I don't know if I wouldn't have taken it. I want it so badly, even though it's not in my hands." Reid told them. "D'you know how easy it is to get Dilaudid in DC? It's too easy, but I enjoyed buying it just as much as using. The danger, the risk of losing everything if I was ever caught was almost as thrilling as taking it."

The confession caught all of them off guard. "It wasn't even Gideon that helped me. He talked to me after I went to see Ethan but he didn't _help. _A friend of mine actually found me sitting in my apartment and talked to me. I was angry at all of you, so much so that I had a photo of you and-" Upon hearing Garcia's gasp, he faltered momentarily, but knew he had to continue. "I'd started to experience the withdrawal; I broke so much stuff in my apartment, but the worst of it? I picked up that photo of us all smiling at Hotch's places and threw it as hard as I could against the wall. The glass smashed all around it as it fell to the floor. Afterwards I just sat there staring at it, feeling satisfied, thinking about how hurt you'd all be if you saw it. Then I sat there, on the floor with my back to the sofa, ready for more but I couldn't do it. It was then that I prayed someone would walk through my door and find me, anyone, and then Anna, my friend, did. She saw the smashed photo frame on the floor, picked it up and sat next to me, facing me with her toes touching my sofa. She was so close, but I didn't have the energy to fight with her, or even to move."

"Spence." JJ cried, tears staining her delicate face, the whole team's pain was evident, screaming at the younger man.

"She told me to decide what I wanted to do – continue using or stop. Knowing what the latter entailed made me really wanna go with the first option, but I didn't. I gave it to her, all of it but she made me do it." Looking around at the horrified look on his friend's faces he quickly reiterated. "I mean made me get rid of them. Said it had to be me that did it."

"What happened then?" Hotch urged him gently.

"I told her she shouldn't be there to see it but she refused to leave. Luckily it was a weekend." Another humourless laugh escaped him as he looked Hotch dead in the eye. "I was so mean to her, I remember needing it and her telling me I couldn't have it so I insulted her, it was so bad, but she didn't once leave. I cried, looked her in the eye and begged her to give me some; I've never been so ashamed or regretful of anything in my life. Thing is, is at the time I didn't care, I just knew that I didn't want to stop anymore I just wanted to continue, it was one of the, if not the hardest thing I've ever done. But I made it. Because of her I made it." For the first time in what seemed like forever he smiled, a genuine and somewhat relieved smile. "I don't think I ever apologised to you, I was horrible to you and you just took it, forgave me just like that." He clicked his fingers as he looked over at his confidant.

"You didn't have to." Emily told him seriously.

"Didn't I?" Spencer asked, making Prentiss double back. "No matter the reason I did what I did, it isn't excusable, you deserved an apology, and you still do. So I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry Emily. I was unfair to you and you didn't deserve that. You did nothing to warrant it and as grateful as I am that you chose to forgive me sometimes I wish you didn't, not so easily anyway. I wanted to feel the pain I caused you, needed you to make me feel as bad as I felt. It just seems like it'd have been so much easier that way."

"I'm sorry I ignored it." Hotch voiced in the sudden tense silence that had engulfed the room, effectively interrupting anything Prentiss was about to say. "I knew and did nothing to help you, or stop you. Me being your boss doesn't come into it, you're my friend first, my family. This team is a family and we take care of each other and I should've done that back then."

"Hey, you didn't report it even though you knew, that counts for something." Spencer joked, eliciting a small smile from the Unit Chief.

"We're all sorry." Penelope finished.

"I'm not hugging anyone, just so you know." Reid informed them with a lopsided smile. "I don't want this to be one of those weird group hug things they have on those weird tv shows Morgan likes to watch."

"Hey, watch it kid." Derek warned lightly, making the other's laugh.

"We still need to find out who did this." Rossi brought their attention back to the note that had been forgotten.

"You know what, I don't care." Reid surprised them all by saying. "I'll worry about it if I get one next year. I really don't think we'd find much anyway after we've pretty much contaminated all of the possible evidence that may've been on it."

"You sure?" Jennifer asked her voice full of trepidation.

"Yeah." Spencer told them. "If anything, whoever this was did me a favour. It's sorta like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders. And it's about time Rossi knew, he may be the oldest – and best – profiler here but he doesn't know everything."

**- . - . - . - . - . - . - .**

**There's this – sorry if you didn't like it :S and I know it's a bit weird for them to not look for who did it but I don't know , it just didn't seem too important for this as I sort of wanted it primarily to focus on Reid and the whole drug addiction thing .**

**Thanks for reading , I hope you liked it**

**Let me know what you think ? Thanks**


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